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Newtons Laws applied to Software Industry

I) Newton's Law Of Motion: Every body continues its state of rest or uniform motion unless it is acted by external unbalanced force.

*(In IT Industry) Every Software Engineer continues chatting or forwarding mails or sending posts on humor unless he is assigned work by his manager.


II) Newton's Law: The rate of change of velocity of a body is directly proportional to the
applied force & takes place in the same direction in which force is applied

*(In our IT Industry) The rate of changes made in the software are directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the faster rate as deadline approaches.


III) Newton's Law: For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.

*(In our IT Industry) For every virus, there exist an equally powerful antivirus, & after release of that antivirus some more destructive virus comes into existence.


IV) Law of Conservation of Energy: Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed. It can be converted from one form to another.The total amount of energy in the universe always remains constant.

*(In IT Industry) Bug can neither be inserted nor be removed from software. It can only be
converted from one form to another.The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.


V) The Uncertainty Principle of Heisenberg: "The more precisely the POSITION is determined,the less precisely the MOMENTUM is known"

*(In our IT Industry) "The more precisely the deadline is achieved, the less precisely the quality is maintained".

Management Stories

Story # 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside
his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big
claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great
claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back
with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and
the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased
with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy
lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is
broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is
no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a
perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene :
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and
intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated
work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge
lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS
SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE
WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES


Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside
his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out
for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat
foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes,
gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and
resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit
returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to
the lion.

Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS
WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS
WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

_

23rd S/W kesi..

Joke of the day :-)

Who is real blind?

There was a blind boy who hated himself because of being blind. He hated everyone except his girlfriend. One day, the boy said that if he could only see the world, he would marry his girlfriend. One lucky day, someone donated a pair of eyes to him! Then he saw everything including his girlfriend.... His girlfriend then asked him,” Now that u can see, will you marry me?" The boy was SHOCKED when he saw that his girlfriend was blind! He said,” I am sorry but I can't marry you because you are blind." His girlfriend walked away with tears...and said, "Just take care of my eyes...."

    

Panchatantra... For new world..

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop
programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of
a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the
Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and
fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his
childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the
River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared
only after one month of rigorous prayers.

The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As
usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match
box and asked, "Is this your computer ?"

Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer
replied, "No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was
his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was
his.  The
engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give
him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer
asked her, "Don't you know= that you're supposed to show me some better
computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid
idiot! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!"

So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If one is not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better
to keep quiet



    

Banquet @ GRT :-)

My Project lead is came from Santa Clara (California). Purpose of visit is to give some training on our project and to setup a team. So he stayed here for 2 weeks. After that he will return back to United States. So we asked for a party for us before leave from Chennai, and he promised to give a party on Friday.
He asked us to select the hotel for the party. We decided to go to GRT Grand days. Jojan has booked for 23 peoples. Party day was come. We arranged 2 vans for GRT. (Our office is at Taramani)
Finally we reached the GRT Grand days. And we take a lift for Banquet Hall.And we contact the floor manager for the seats. But He said, "No body is booked for the hall". Jojan said to the floor manager just now I called here and confirm my bookings, and he showed the number from the dialed numbers from his mobile. He saw the number and said "Sir this is number is for GRT Radisson, which is in Guindy. You are Booked the Banquet at there and come to here". We are laughed. And it will take time to reach Guindy. So we request the manager, to arrange the Banquet for us. He agreed. Because he don’t want to loss the very huge amount. Finally he arranged the 6 cubicles for us. 4 persons can site in one cubicle. We enjoyed the party there !!!.

Fight with owner

It was monday, the time was 7.30 I think. I slept in my room. Door is opend, and nobody is there in my room (we four guys are staying in a mansion). Mansion owner came and he asked the balance amount 480 rupees.(Total amount is Rs 3480). I said , "my friends are not available now". I will collect it and give you evening. But he is not ready to hear my words. He shouted and I got tense, and I told politely "At this time I have no money, will drop the amount at ATM and give to you at 10 'o Clock morning. But he is not hear any of my words. I have 300 rupees in my purse. So I decided to give 200 ruppes, to him. He collected that much amount , again he asked for remaining 280 rupees. After heared the words, I got tensed, I was also start shouted. Mansion owner started moving from my room. And we didnt pay the remaining amount for some days. After a long time only we gave the amount. Because for 4 peoples, we are paying 3480 instead of 2500. And we warned the mansion manger. Dont put too much rent and electricity bill. Because for us electricity bill is 1500 for one month. And we asked receipts for all those things in up coming months.

weekend time

I am wasting my time during my weekend. I have no useful jobs in the weekend,except washing of my cloths. Other times I simply sleep well and chat with my friends. I am not even watching the tv on those days. Any body can suggest How to spend thosedays in some useful ways, Without spending any money :-)